The Rains Have Returned

The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, 

to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. 
– Deuteronomy 28:12

There's always been something about rain for me.

Growing up on the farm, I learned early that the crops—and therefore the paychecks—were dependent on the Lord opening the sky and watering the earth. I remember sitting on the front porch of the big cement block farmhouse, my dad in his big chaise lounge lawn chair and me in my small one, covered in a green blanket, breathing in the damp, fragrant air and enjoying the thunder concert.

Never Covered With Shame

I am now officially allowed to write what I think about Brené Brown's book Daring Greatly. A few weeks back, I broke one of my own sacred rules and commented on it when I hadn't fully read it yet. Don't you just hate it when people do that? Yeah, me too. 

But now I have read it. Cover to cover. Even the appendix about her research methodology. It is as good as I said it was. (Whew!) It connected the dots on so many puzzling, hard, painful relational experiences I've had. And it is soooooo hopeful.

Kicking Shame in the Teeth

A few weeks ago, I discovered Brené Brown and liked her so much I posted her TED talk. I have since ordered her book, Daring Greatly, and I'm reading it faster than I've read anything in a while. I know I've got some things to write in response, but I was trying really hard to wait until I'd actually finished the book.

Except today I was angry in church.

Plus (Five)

I thought it might be good to actually finish my Lenten series. Yes, I know Lent ended two weeks ago. That's kind of how my life goes these days.

I'm posting this today because I just finished reading through the New Testament. I was reading on a 40-day plan, which would have fit nicely in the Lenten season, but life happened. The most impossible potty training endeavor in the history of the world happened. Another round of teeth for the toddler happened. Broken down vehicles happened. A new water bubble on the basement ceiling happened. You know...

So it took me 68 days to finish the New Testament. And I am so glad I did. Here are a few thoughts about the whole scope of the experience:

Making an Example of Myself

It's been 4 days since I posted Against My Better Judgment, and once again, conversation in the comments both on the blog and on my Facebook has prompted a follow-up post. 

Douglas, Megandy, and timbarjenbruch all posted related arguments about my last point—the idea that we don't really know what social consequences same sex marriage will have, so Christians (and others who oppose it) are justified in raising concerns that it could turn out badly.

Basically, they caught me red-handed, doing exactly what my post was urging against. I spent considerable time building a case that when we're feeling vulnerable and defensive, we tend to offer arguments that are just a little bit removed from the real issue that concerns us. And that's exactly what I did.

How I Read the Bible

Yesterday, I opened a can of worms. 

Of course it's dangerous to post something like that and ask for comments, because you never know what people are going to say and who is going to take it personally. For the most part, I decided I'm just going to let the conversation run, because I want people to feel free to say what they really think. This is all about trying to listen well and understand each other better. I will step in if I think that people aren't listening well or aren't trying to take the perspective of those they disagree with. And I might ask some questions if I personally need to hear more to understand well. 

And then there was one question that was so good, it needed a whole post unto itself:

Plus (Four)

Everything Falls Apart

Well, my Lenten observation crashed and burned in the past 10 days. I'm still trying to figure out exactly why. You know those weeks when life seems to be on top of you, instead of the other way around? I had one of those. And then I had another. 

Lack of sleep. Stress at work. Conflicts to resolve. Teething and viruses while adjusting to daylight savings time. (Have mercy.) Laundry piling up. I'm not sure why I can sometimes navigate those things and sometimes I can't. But this time I couldn't.

Plus (Three)

Head and Heart

A brief Lenten thought about how the Scripture is revealing me to myself:

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and the Clifton StrengthsFinder (both excellent tools we use with our FLI students) heartily agree upon this: I am prone to getting stuck inside my own head.

I think. A lot.

I used to suffer from "analysis paralysis," because I would think myself into a corner and then not be able to do anything. That's not really a problem any more (thank goodness!), but one thing I do still struggle with is the emotional aspect of my faith. I have a hard time feeling God's love for me. (Even though I know and believe that God loves me.)

Plus (Two)

What Does the Text Say?

Hey there. Another Lenten check-in here. 

I've been in the Pauline Epistles this week as a part of my read-Scripture-in-big-chunks discipline. Specifically, Thessalonians, Corinthians, Galatians and Romans, in that order. 

This time, a couple of thoughts about the content, in no particular order: 

The gospel has been frustrating legalists for thousands of years. 

Corinthians impressed that on me. First Corinthians, especially, is like hearing just one side of a phone conversation. You know there are specific things that the believers in Corinth are riled up about, and you can sort of tell what those things are by the way Paul responds. 

Plus (One)

Making it up as I go along

Lent, day 11. I thought I'd check in and let you know how it's going. Instead of choosing a discipline of giving something up, I chose a discipline of addition. The addition of a lot of Scripture, that is. 

It has ended up looking different from what I envisioned. I had initially said at least three chapters of the gospels every day. I was wrong about the chapters, the books and the days. But that's OK. Because the experience has turned out to be amazing and just what I was hungering for.

Plus

It took me a while this year to decide how I would observe Lent. I've been so inspired by friends and former students who found very meaningful ways to focus on the things of the Kingdom last year.

Here's my dilemma: There's been a lot of "cutting out" in my life lately. In this season of small children at home and a need for high, high productivity at work, I have cut fluff and then cut more fluff and then cut more fluff. And in the process, I've cut some things that are not fluff. So it's not the things I'm doing that are keeping me from God right now; it's the things I'm not doing.