One Rule That Would Change the Internet

Days like today, Facebook makes me queasy.

With the SCOTUS decision to make same sex marriage the law of the land, there was no way my news feed wasn't going to blow up with strong opinions on both sides.

And it's not just this issue. Pick any other big news day and the same thing will happen. It's not the strong opinions that bother me. (I have a few of my own.) It's the way we express them. We seem to have lost our collective ability to do anything other than preach to the choir. Conservative or Progressive, we all do it.

You may be partially right. You may even be all right. But what good does it do to take a tone that says, "Here, folks, is the plain, simple truth of the matter, and anyone who doesn't see it my way is an idiot / backward / hateful / ignorant"? Doing so may get you lots of likes, shares and pats on the back from people WHO ALREADY AGREE WITH YOU (hello Matt Walsh), but does it accomplish anything else? I can't think of much.

So here's what I propose: What if we spread a new rule of thumb for social media?

We're Not Having the Conversation We Think We're Having

Baltimore Gives Us a New Chance to Get It Right

I am a terrible blogger.

If you want to be a real, grown-up blogger, you have to have an opinion on every current event. Even if you don't have an opinion, you have to get one, and then you have to write a post about it. You have to give it a title that grabs people's attention and makes them click on the link. You get bonus points if you start your post by letting readers know that you're the only one on the whole wide Internet who understands what's really at stake in the issue. 

It makes me tired just thinking about it. 

So while my news feed was blowing up with Ferguson, Missouri, I wrote nothing. And while every other item was about the Indiana Religious Freedom Restoration Act, I wrote nothing. But I was thinking. 

And now, here we are again—watching, crying, wondering, and maybe fuming as Baltimore erupts in violence. This time, I need to get some of these thoughts out...

#blacklivesmatter

It was the hashtag that got me. 

Focus Leadership Institute: What Went Wrong?

Read part 1: Requiem for the Focus Leadership Institute 

Read part 2: What Went Right

I handled alumni relations for the entire time that the Focus Leadership Institute was in decline. Because of my time in that role, I know many graduates were surprised to hear this week that the program has been discontinued.

What in the Sam Hill happened?

For those who attended back when there were more than 2 applicants for every seat, it's hard to imagine that FLI ended up struggling the way it did. But believe me, we struggled. My last few semesters, we operated with fewer than 20 students, down from a sustained high of 88 students (2000-2007). The threat of closure hung over our heads constantly.

Since our job was equipping future leaders, one last service I can do is to reflect on what caused the decline. I write about in hope that others can learn from our mistakes and avoid them.

Focus Leadership Institute: What Went Right

[If you haven't read my previous post, it's here.]

People. Will you read the comments on this Facebook post? And this one?

We sound like a cult. #kiddingnotkidding

Seriously? One semester made that much of a difference to so many people? And it sounds like nothing ever went wrong.

With the announcement that the Focus Leadership Institute is closing, it's natural that many of us are seeing our time there through rose-colored glasses.

Requiem for the Focus Leadership Institute

I was over it.

I've been gone from there for a year and a half. And I was fine. Until I saw the comments on the FLI Facebook page under the announcement that the program is closing today. So now I'm grieving again.

Twenty years. More than 3000 students. Lives transformed. I was one of them.

400 Years of Silence. Or Something Like That.

It's been ... um ... a little while since I've written.

Like, a year. 

My friend Abby—whose oldest 3 children are a boy and twin girls, 21 months apart—once told me that when the twins were born, she just lost a whole year of her life. Not like her life expectancy was shortened by a year, but like a whole year went by and she didn't know what had happened. 

I relate. 

Being a family of five still feels like a new thing...so crazy!

Elijah (kid #3) turned one this month. I have no idea where that year went.

The Newest Newborn

Here's an Elijah photo that has been 4.5 years in the making:

Welcome to the Family

Lorien and Josiah love listening to Kids Praise (Psalty) music these days. Oh, what a throwback to my childhood!

One song that's struck me as particularly appropriate as we get to know Elijah is this one:

Welcome To the Family

Welcome to the family

We're glad that you have come

To share your life with us

As you grow in love and 

Elijah is born!

Elijah Young Keffer was born on February 12!

To tell the story of Elijah's birth, I have to go back and recap Lorien's and Josiah's, because both of those had a lot of bearing on how this little guy came into the world.

January Recap

We're just getting it out of our system...

All the things we don't want to deal with after baby is born next month, we're just doing them now: surgery, sickness, teething, travel. Suffice it to say that January has been a little difficult.

After SIX different courses of antibiotics for Josiah's ear infections between June and November, mama had enough of the antibiotics. It made me sick to think of what we were doing to his little digestive system with all that. It was time for tubes.

On January 9, we headed up to Denver EARLY in the morning. Like 4:30 early. The surgery itself took about 10 minutes, and Josiah did great. We also had a great experience with both Dr. Sheri Poznanovic and the Rocky Mountain Hospital for Children. I'd recommend them for anyone needing a pediatric ENT.

December Recap

Well, the third trimester got the best of me, and I stopped blogging. Gonna fill in with some month-end recaps so that I don't lose these memories...

In December:

Josh and I took and early and abbreviated 10th anniversary trip to Estes Park. Our long-time plan had been to escape for a week on the beach sometime in the spring (our actual anniversary is January 3, 2014), but this impending baby changed those plans.

We decided to take a shorter, closer trip before I got miserably large, so we booked two nights at the Della Terra Mountain Chateau in Estes Park at the beginning of December. Unfortunately, I was pretty uncomfortable already, but it was a nice getaway nonetheless. (Except for the wind. The wind was insane!)

The trip included yummy food, no schedule to follow, our first ever couples' massage, and a lot of relaxing and enjoying each other's company.

When we got to the Della Terra, we were greeted by these guys. 

Happy Thanksgiving 2013!

Lorien's First Concert

This fall, Lorien has been singing in the kids' choir at church and loving it! She loves music and she loves being with her friends there. Here she is in her first concert:

The God of Angel Armies

We sang this song at Camp this past summer, and lately, we've been listening to it at home and in the car. The kids love it, and Josh and I do too.

Whom Shall I Fear?

(Chris Tomlin) 

You hear me when I call

You are my morning song

Though darkness fills the night

It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear? 

A Visit from Uncle Doug

My brother Doug teaches elementary music at the American Embassy School in Dehli, India. Once per year, he attends a professional conference in the States. This year it was in Denver, so we got to hang out with him for a day between his flight and the beginning of the conference!

Here's my "I got him!" shot that I sent to everyone (from 5 Guys Burgers... mmmmmm......) on the way home from the airport: 

The next day, we ate lunch at Cheyenne Mountain Resort, where my youngest brother Steve works, and enjoyed the beautiful fall day.

Blue #2

It's a BOY!

We got to take a peek at our little guy on Sept. 16. That was just a day short of 19 weeks gestation, and a little early for the fetal anatomy scan. Let me back up a little bit and explain why...

Josiah: Two Year Portraits

At two, Josiah is joyful, constantly on the go, a morning person, a real lover and a real fighter. (His sister rarely appreciates the latter. At least he is almost always ready with an apology, which usually goes, "I'm sorry. I forgive you." :)) 

We're so thankful for him. 

Better Late than Never - Josiah's 2nd Birthday Party

John Deere Gator cake

We've Had Better Weeks Than This One

Well, we had exactly one day's reprieve between Josiah finishing his antibiotics for his ear infection and  Lorien coming down with a fever and head cold ... again. We are on day 42 of family illness, I think. This time we all four got it, and during a week when Josh worked two consecutive 16-hour days in Denver. Not cool for him, or for me, solo-parenting.

Also, that learning curve I mentioned with the new job? Trying to get my first big project to print with a nasty head cold is kicking my butt. 

And to top it off: 

I got my first ever black eye, courtesy of Josiah, who got a little too enthusiastic about "handing" me a hardback book to read to him yesterday. 

My New Assignment

I had to publish the last post, in part, to explain why it has taken me so dang long to publish this post.

It's not that I didn't have any news about a new job. It's just that life kind of got overwhelming. Plus, to be honest, I was dealing with some emotional stuff about the end of my old job that was different from what I expected, so I just didn't know what to write for a while.

But please, let me tell you the story, because it's a good one.